A quick update. . .
I had my neuro appointment yesterday. The lumbar puncture came back normal, meaning that we still don’t have a diagnosis. Given the results of the MRIs and LP, my neurologist doesn’t think that I have MS. This is both comforting and frustrating. MS is not 100% ruled out because it is not unheard of for the tests to come back normal only to present evidence of MS in subsequent exams. While it seems like we know less now the truth is that we probably know more because we have been able to rule out a few more classes of neurological diseases.
I am truly blessed!
Throughout all of this I have been blessed with a wonderful wife and wonderful friendships. Your support and prayers have helped and encouraged me. I am constantly amazed to see how God is working. I am amazed at God’s providence which, so many years ago, caused me to fall in love with a woman who would, many years later, have the faith and love to bear this burden with me. It seems like I have a new story of God’s goodness every day. His mercies are truly new every morning (Lamentations 3:?).
A divine appointment
Last week at church, I ran into a man who is also suffering from a neurological condition. I have known him for a few years, although only as an acquaintance. Our conversation was brief, but in that short time we discovered that we are both on very similar journeys. He came down with his condition around 2000 and wasn’t diagnosed for a few years if I remember correctly. He called me that very afternoon and, after a few days of “phone tag” we finally connected and were able to share our stories. I was amazed to learn that we not only shared in our suffering, but also in our eternal perspective. This is a dear man of God and I have a lot to learn from him.
I will not pretend to have the answer to the question of pain and suffering. However, I do know that through this all, I have come to know Christ in a way that would not have otherwise been possible. Somehow, through the mystery of pain and suffering, I have entered into a fellowship with Christ that has only served to enrich my hope and diminish the errant belief in human enterprise (more on this at a later time). Though I would not willingly chose this path, there is a certain joy that comes from sharing in the sufferings of Christ. It is the joy of fellowship and intimacy with the God who willingly suffers in order to identify with His creation. It is the joy in relinquishing the burden of human enterprise and leaning on the everlasting arms of the only one who offers the hope of restoring all things (Revelation 21.5)
This is my God, and I will worship Him!
Who is this God of ours who works on behalf of those who wait on Him (Isaiah 64.4)?!? Is there another god like Him? A god who, in His infinite love and mercy would go before me and prepare the path that I am to travel (Isaiah 45.2?) ! Truly I have seen the Lord at work! I know that He is alive because He is right here with me. I know He is alive because, in my pain, He delivers me (Romans 5:3-5)… not from my pain but through my pain. He has taken my dim hope and has infused it with brilliance so that in my pain, I clearly see the hope of resurrection. A hope that is a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul (Hebrews 6.19) . This is my God, and I will praise Him (Exodus 15.2)!
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