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Detoxification (John 13:1-30)


“Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,  and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions,  and my sin is ever before me . . .”  (Psalm 51.3)

Almighty maker of heaven and earth
into whose hands all power has been given.
You who stoop to my weakness
and  offer your cleansing.
Cleanse not only my feet,
but also my hands and head.

In my self-sufficiency
I foolishly deny your bidding to wash me
And in my self-righteousness,
I join with the one who has said,
“You shall never wash my feet!”

How then, knowing what you have said,
(that if you do not wash me I shall have no part with you)
do I maintain my delusions of autarchic sufficiency?

Stoop to my weakness mighty as you are!
Cleanse all of me . . . yes, but first my head.
Cast out the prideful madness of mind
which deceives me to think that I need not  be cleansed!

Suffer not that I shall be like the son of Simon,
Who, upon receiving the venerable sop,
left quickly as it was at once declared to be night.

Cause me to see that my heart is deceitful above all things;
and in seeing its desperately wicked condition,
compel me to humbly approach in stooping posture
and receive your blood which purifies my unrighteousness.

9 thoughts on “Detoxification (John 13:1-30)

  1. Aaron this made me cry. I can totally relate to this and it comes from your depths. I think this is the cry of everyone who wants to be holy.

  2. Josh dunn

    To be broken of my sinful pride. That is what I long for. Thanks for sharing your heart.

  3. Dikran Abadjian

    Broken yes. A good place to be. To wash my feet and all of me is to be clean. That is hope and this poem expresses faith which is our highest calling. Thank you brother.

  4. Ryan

    I think one of the enemy’s lies is that we are the only ones who struggle with things like this. I know I have believed that lie. Thank you for your brutal honesty. I don’t have the courage to admit my struggles. This comment is as close as I’ll ever get and so I will probably always strive against God until my pride is shattered.

  5. kirsten

    WOW! Who gave you access to my innermost cries? O LORD make me holy as You are holy…be gone my evil prideful self…

  6. I’m glad to be walking this road with each of you. Dikran my friend . . . Gospodi Pomilui.

  7. Dikran Abadjian

    Yes, gospodi pomilui. May G-d have
    mercy on us all.

    “From all evil and wickedness; from sin; from the crafts and assults of the devil; and from everlasting damnation, Gospodi Pomilui”

  8. Dikran are you Russian Orthodox? I just spent some time in The Ukraine and in Russia and they said gospodi pomilui like 50 times in a church service. It means have mercy right?

  9. Dikran Abadjian

    Greetings Serena. Or as I have been learning to say, Howdy! I do not know what the word means but I like the cowboy movies.

    I am Armenian from Armenia which was once upon a time in the Soviet republics. I am a part of the Armenian Apostolic Church and it is like the Russian church but also very different. We do not accept the Chalcedonian beliefs. We are closer to Coptic Orthodox but to a protestant this is all very confusing. I guess the answer is yes, from your eyes we are very like the eastern orthodox.

    All this is good but is our faith one? I think it is so. I talk to brother Aaron at work and Father Yeghia Isayan from Portland church and both confirm our same belief in one God, in Jesus Christ his son, in death, raised and in our deep sin.

    I received my learning from Catholic University of Portland in Theology and found nothing to fight over. It gives me and brother Aaron conversation a lot.

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