Well friends, obviously a blogger I am not. I haven’t even been reading other blogs to share with you. Before life kicks up another notch, I do want to address the few things I said I would.
First, the THM cookbook. I did finally purchase a copy and I am impressed. It is laid out very well and easy to navigate through. Each meal has a color coded dot to signify type. There are even freezer directions for crock pot meals. I have been putting those to use lately. I am not planning another post for it, so if you have specific questions feel free to ask. If you’d like, you can purchase a copy here.
The other topic I said I would address is miscarriage. We did not miscarry last October and are expecting our little one any day now. Reality is that having had one (or more) previous miscarriages does effect your mindset in pregnancy. It is something I have really been trying to work through these past months. I can’t say my thoughts are complete, which is one reason this post hasn’t happened, but I will share anyway.
If you are interested in some of our history with this you can read here, here and here. (I may have been a bit dramatic in the last post…) We have also had another miscarriage since those that I didn’t write about.
With each positive pregnancy test come a mixture of hope and dread. Hoping this baby makes it, dreading they won’t. This time was no different, except we did have a plan. I had been working with a doctor to even out some hormones and would be taking those through my first trimester.
Oh my, did the anxiety hit hard this time! So much so, that I honestly felt I was being totally irrational. And, really I was. I asked others to pray for me. One of our dear neighbors reminded me we have a good Father. Yes, yes we do. In my fear, I had lost sight of who He really is. How He has proven His good and faithful character to me over and over. I needed to be reminded of that truth. Being regrounded in this helped to dissipate my anxiety.
Another truth I didn’t know I needed to wrestle with came through a sermon we listened to at the beginning of this year. Two words stood out to me. Sinful and needy. I needed to remember this is what I am. Please understand, I know I am not condemned for this. But I needed to remember who I am and who it is I go to for grace and rest. My fear had not only taken my eyes off of who God is, but off of who I am as well. There is an incredible freedom in accepting my need and running to the One who can meet it.
So, this is where I am. When the fear from miscarriage tries to creep in, I make a conscious choice to remember who I am and who it is that holds me in His hands. These truths are for me in miscarriage or a viable pregnancy. His character is consistent. He is a good Father.